I am in constant revelations lately. Constant and steady ones, where I seem to feel the same no matter how much impact they may have. I just am much more worried about things now, every thing makes me feel like I’m stepping up to a cliff trying to catch my breath before I rush through images of sudden suicide.
Every time I start to close my eyes and see him smile at me it automatically changes into wisps of air in front of my eyes, quickly being blown away by my heavy breaths. Exhaling into images of my blood on the ground, him trying his best to cause pain to make me never forget.
To never recall that I was good, and that I am only in the wrong. That I deserved it, and he was the victim. I learned a lesson that not everyone learns in their life. In a way that makes me lucky, only seventeen and things are sure to get better from here on.
Because I know that even if things may seem so dark and wrong in the world, there is light. There is always a light, wether it’s at the end of the tunnel or at the top of a mountain we have to climb. You just have to find it, and it’s in every single person. Every person at one point has only been full of light. Wether only while being an infant, or for one minute in your entire life time.
Some of us might need help, but if you are close to them don’t try to change them. It can’t be you who tries to heal this person, if you would give your life for them they might ruin theirs in the process.
I suppose what I am saying is everyone has good, just don’t invest in someone unless you know for yourself that you have found a light to help you through anything. Your light has to come from you, you can’t rely on anyone to help you through the dark. And then they won’t blame you for their own shadows.